Max’s second order of business: Beards.

Max’s number, 33, was a warning to Chilean miners. They didn’t listen.

Max is a fist wearing a man costume.

On the seventh day God rested, until Max told him to get back to work.

Max IS the Large Hadron Collider.

Max has not retired, he just has a new assignment.

Max did not retire, Geelong could just not afford to keep replacing bent gym equipment.

Max once proved that P != NP, but forgot the proof when distracted by a kitty.

Max knows what a double rainbow means.

Max Rooke has a full body tattoo of Max Rooke.

Max is looking forward to his new career as the Australian Soccer Team.

Max needs your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle.

Max can turn water into bacon.

Regardless of what happens tonight, Max still loves each and every one of you. Especially you, @fionalaughton.

Max’s knee is fine, he is just hibernating until the Grand Final.