When Max was 4, Santa had to be hospitalised after he sat on his lap.

Max does not use a paddle to play ping pong. The ball will hurl itself back over the net if it knows what’s good for it.

Max caused the fail whale. He smacked it over the head with one of his slippers.

Max sleeps the same way he takes a mark - horizontal and six feet in the air.

Max does not cook. He simply puts a steak in his shorts until it’s done.

When Max is old, he will not have wrinkles - they will be classed as fault lines.

The medical cart Max commandeered after the Grand Final is now his daily driver.

Global Warming is caused by Mother Nature being hot for Max.

Every woman within one square kilometre of Max’s house is infertile.

Every man within one square kilometre of Max’s house is also infertile.

Max doesn’t eat, he gets energy from his opponents fear.

Max does not get tax refunds - the ATO considers it protection money.

Max does not tackle opposition players, they are brought down by his gravitational pull.

Max once foiled a bank robbery 3 suburbs away by sneezing.

Max once played Street Fighter II and took it literally. The machine did not survive.